5 Secret ways to get more blowjobs from your partner

Quick Note: Check Your Expectations

more blowjobs

I want you to realize that a huge part of this goes beyond making a simple verbal request. This is about how you treat your partner, how you relate with one another, and how you act and carry yourself as a man. The dynamic you create in the relationship matters – big time.

With that in mind, here are five ways to inspire your partner to give you more blowjobs.

1. Clear your communication blocks 

This is where you address re-stoking your mental and emotional intimacy. Whether or not you want more blowjobs, you have to actively work on your relationship. But a lack of blowjobs, and/or sex in general, is often due to a backlog of unresolved issues. Maybe your partner doesn’t feel inspired to be sexually loving towards you because they’re holding onto unprocessed resentments around the relationship.

If they’re holding back thoughts and feelings (especially anger) then they’re going to hold back their sexual energy and intimacy in general.

So, start here, and mean it. You cannot bypass this step. This is foundational groundwork to remove any blockages and let your sexual intimacy flow. Invest into the shared garden of your relationship, and do it honestly.

That means coming at this step purely with the intention to heal and reconnect, not seeing it as an annoying obstacle on the way to more blowjobs. Throw concerns for sexual gratification completely out of your mind, for now.

If the intention behind you bringing up this conversation was purely sexual, then it will be superficial and the conversation won’t go as deep as it truly needs to get into the real core of the issue.

Since you want space to enter into a proper dialogue, and potentially unpack some sensitive and emotional stuff, you always want to set aside sacred time. First ask when they might have some bandwidth and uninterrupted time to talk about the relationship. You can assure them its nothing bad, but you simply haven’t deeply communicated and done some maintenance in a while. You want to make sure things are as good as they can be.

I said to throw your explicit desire for blowjobs aside for now, but it would be fine to bring up the desire for a thriving sex life here. That might be part of you two talking about what’s up in the relationship and what you’d like from each other. So long as it’s done from the position of “I’m feeling like we don’t have as much sexual spark as we used to. How do you feel? What can I do, and what can we do, to make that a reality?” That is much different than, “Hmph. You don’t give me enough blowjobs. Why not!?” *pouty face*

Be deeply curious. Listen. And come from a place of team-oriented ownership, not one-versus-one.

2. Work on your grooming

A sure-fire way for anyone to increase their chances of receiving oral is to make their genitals more inviting. Now, there’s obviously nothing wrong, dirty, shameful, or gross about how genitals naturally are… but grooming and bathing are facts of life, and regularly/freshly washed genitals that aren’t drowning in a sea of pubic hair are easier and more enjoyable to access than genitals that haven’t been soaped/trimmed down in a while.

Putting intention into your sexuality by taking time to groom yourself well works on another level too. When you take pride in your body and appearance, it broadcasts a more attractive energy to your lover.

Unless it’s strongly your preference, or your partner’s, shaving your pubic hair down to the skin isn’t the best idea. It tends to look awkward, while creating issues like razor rash, ingrown hairs, and itchy stubble during the regrowth phase.

Instead, I recommend using an electric beard trimmer. It’s way faster, easier, risk-free, and looks great.

Now, addressing the testicles is another can of worms altogether. This would be the main part where using a razor and shaving cream is more readily advised. If you don’t already have a method for doing so, I won’t go into a walk through. You can find more info on genital grooming/washing in this article.

Whether or not you have foreskin, be sure to keep the bell end of your penis well-washed. 

When in doubt, simply trim off some of your excess pubic hair, and make sure you’re washing your genitals well with a quality soap on the regular.

3. “Go down” on your partner more often

I put that in quotes because what I really mean here is be in loving service to them. Take the essence of that act and pour it into the rest of your life. Do whatever registers as loving to them more often. That could literally be oral sex. Or it could be doing the dishes and looking after household chores more often. That could be giving them verbal compliments and praise. When they talk about their day, give them your full attention. Lavish them with love and respect.

Just like in the communication step, this needs to be done from a pure place. If you’re holding onto an expectation to have your energy reciprocated (especially with blowjobs) you’re mixing a recipe for resentment and disaster. For best results, you have to come at this with purity and communication.

Think of it this way: A big reason men love blowjobs is because of how loved and honored they feel. It feels like she serving and worshipping you. But that will happen when you behave in a way worth honoring and serving. Besides leading your life like a king, you want to send that energy her way, which tends to naturally inspire reciprocation.

One of the most important, mature lessons that everyone needs to learn is that you must give what you most want to get. Do you want to feel loved and honoured? Love and honour your partner first. Want to have more and better friendships in your life? Go be a better friend to others. Want to make more money? Go provide more value to the world. You get the point.

4. Praise her on her skills

While she is giving you a blowjob, or after she has, give her ample positive praise. Tell her what you love(d) and express your enjoyment and gratitude. Positive reinforcement is the simplest way to build someone’s confidence in any skill, helps them recognize what you like, and makes them feel encouraged and supported to repeat behaviour. Simple as that.

Have there ever been times when you did something around the house (emptied the dishwasher, folded the laundry, made a delicious meal), and your partner lavished you with praise and appreciation for a job well done? And did you then feel not only seen and recognized, but more excited to do that thing again at a later date? I rest my case.

5. Be direct

Assuming you have done the initial groundwork of clearing and communicating, it’s okay to just ask for what you want directly.

This simple point is the last thing most men are too shy to try, and it absolutely blows their minds to consider actually doing it.

But this ask is an extension of something deeper, which is how much you’ve cultivated your masculinity and king energy. The masculine is direct, assertive, confident, honouring. Are you living your whole life in a masculine way? Are you being pro-active and assertive in life? Are you taking charge? That right there is the energy worthy of blowjobs.

On a deeper level, the resistance many men feel in the form of shyness around being direct with their sexuality is coming from a bit of shame. Not just around sexuality, but because they know they’re not behaving and conducting their lives in a way that deserves a strong “Yes” to this request.

If you work a job you hate, spend all of your free time playing video games and getting drunk/high, and haven’t gone down on your partner in months, then you should feel some resistance to asking for more blowjobs. Conversely, if you’re slaying dragons daily in a career that lights you up, you’re in good shape and are regularly active (both physically and socially), and you’re going down on your partner and/or giving her amazing, powerful orgasms on a weekly basis, then you should feel very at-home in the idea that you could ask for your reasonable sexual needs to be met. Blowjobs aren’t just about emptying your balls into a willing participant… they’re a powerful mirror that reflect to you how you’re showing up in your life.

In sum, the recipe is: Feed your relationship, live a strong life, and communicate. With this more profound perspective and a little courage, you’ll be more satisfied than ever before.

Dedicated to your success,

Jordan 

[https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com]

 

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